


Speck of Dust

by caffeinatednightowl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatednightowl/pseuds/caffeinatednightowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean sometimes feels like a speck of dust when compared to Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speck of Dust

Cas walked out to the hill, looking out at the vast forest before them. Dean was pretty sure they had driven far enough away from the nearest town—from what Cas told him of the ritual, it sounded like there was gonna be a show to rival the Fourth of July going down tonight.

“This is safe,” said Cas, closing his eyes for a moment. “I cannot sense any humans in the vicinity.”

“Good,” said Dean. “You gonna get on with it, or…?”

Cas turned to look back at him, concern in his eyes. “You should leave too, Dean. Go back with Sam to the hotel. It may be dangerous to watch…An angel’s powers can be overwhelming to humans.”

Dean swallowed. “I’ll stay with you, Cas.”

Cas paused for a moment, as if he was trying to argue, before giving up. “All right, just…stay back. Don’t get too close.”

Dean nodded. Though he wanted to be here for Cas, he wasn’t suicidal. “Okay.” He walked back down the hill, far enough away that he could duck behind trees, if necessary.

Cas glanced back—he must’ve decided that Dean was far enough away, before looking back, up at the stars above. Dean could see Cas move—stretching his arms wide, and looking to the sky for a long minute, before it began.

Dean watched as a bright, overpowering blue light poured out of Castiel—he shut his eyes tight and watched that light glow and expand under the night sky. Castiel spread his arms wide, letting the light—his  _grace_ , Dean realized—unfurl and shine like a beacon under the stars.

Dean’s eyes were narrow as slits, and he could barely see the shadow of Jimmy Novak’s body in the center of all that celestial light. A shockwave sent him stumbling back on his feet as two giant black wings unfurled from Castiel’s back and he was lifted up into the air—ancient Enochian words echoed around him, and if Dean hadn’t seen Cas perform the ritual in front of him, he wouldn’t have believed it.

Watching this before his eyes, it hit Dean like a punch to the gut what Castiel really  _was._ The vessel he used was only a disguise—this was his true form. According to Cas himself, he was an ancient being greater and more powerful than humans could even comprehend—even this magnificent show of power was just the tip of the iceberg to all that Castiel was and could do.

That knowledge clenched in Dean’s heart as he watched Cas’s grace continue to swirl around him in a beautiful display of light. He had stopped denying it ages ago, but he still would never quite accept it—accept that somehow, he, a sinful and prideful human, a drop-out, fuck-up extraordinaire that had no business at all doing it, had fallen in love with this powerful creature in front of him. It…it hurt, thinking about it. Cas was older than he could possibly imagine, he had seen things Dean probably couldn’t even dream of—he had been there when the world was beginning, and if his luck held, he’d be there ‘til the very end of things—Dean’s life was insignificant compared to his. Just a blip on the radar.

Hell, Dean wasn’t sure  _himself_  how this had happened—How could he have fallen in love with an immortal angel of the Lord? Hell, the fact that the angel of the Lord happened to be  _male_  was the least shocking part of it at this point. Dean Winchester had been raised a hunter—he was supposed to hunt and not to trust supernatural beings. And yet, somehow, he had fallen for one of them.

But Dean knew he fucked up everything he loved. Cas was no exception. What was it Hester said? “The moment Castiel lay a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” Maybe that was true. Dean corrupted everything—Hell, he corrupted an  _angel_  to rebel against Heaven. His old self probably would’ve bragged that he could tempt an angel to fall from grace, but now—now he wished he could’ve stopped Cas before it went too far. Tell Cas he wasn’t worth it.

He never would be worth it.

And though it hurt; though Dean had to bite his lip, as he looked on Castiel and watched as the light receded, back into his vessel—those beautiful black wings disappearing and Jimmy’s body slowly sinking back to the Earth, he knew.

It didn’t matter whatever Cas thought of him now, or whatever Cas in his stupidly too-attached way was willing to do for him.

He was just an insignificant, short-lived, mortal human.

Cas walked back to him, smile on his face—Jimmy’s trench coat was half off his shoulders, his hair more mussed up as usual, and yet he smiled as if that whole display hadn’t happened. “The ritual is complete. I know where to find them now. We should meet up with Sam first and tell him what happened.”

Dean nodded, trying to hold back the swell of emotion’s for Cas’s sake. They had a case; had much they had to complete before he’d allow himself to think on it again.

And yet—even as Cas smiled and talked to him of this case and promises hamburgers once it was all over, Dean couldn’t forget—

He was just a speck of dust compared to him. 


End file.
